CyberBard Ink

CyberBard Ink

The Enigmatic James Richard Lucas

Author & Showman Impressario: Heir to the Magi of Las Vegas

 Writer, Novelist, Screenwriter & Bard, Keeper of the Untold Tale, Knight Emmieller des Paroles, Kuttab, Qussa, Munshi, Quillet-Master,  Zauberworter, Word-thane & Quatschritter, Story Crafter Nonpareil, Playwright of the  Nonesuch Opera of the Amargosa Valley Theater, Purple Surponce of the Lincoln and Nye County All-Variety Bordello Theaters, Afflatus-Conatus of the Aleatory Pull-for-Liberty! Slot Machine, Trope-Meister of the Las Vegas Micklemote Academy, Curator of Pure Monongahela Hokum, "lord of his work and master of utterance/ who turneth his word in its season and shapes it--" Ezra Pound, Canto LXXIV

Literary Five-tool player--all-around wrighter who excels at all the essentials: imagination, creativity, genius, storyline delineation, character-building, rhetoric, dialogue, grammar, syntax, making ruakh and logos out of tohu wa bohu. He hits for power, steals the heart, throws the villain, harvests the dreams, scatters the stardust, stands up to bullies, and scores home. 

Education: Selbaufklarung Universitat

Doctor of Law J.D.

Successfully practiced Banditry Law without a license in CA, NV, and MI 1975-1995.  Illegally crossed the Mexican border to write the Great American Novel.

Metaphysics,Ontology, Literature, Intelligenz, Passed the Baton (1951-2019)

All my profs, Sophocles, Euripedes, Aeschylus,Thucydides, Virgil, Dante, Shakespeare, Cervantes, Goethe, Keats, Byron, Twain, St. Paul, Nabokov, and Nietzsche, are dead.  I read their chicken scratches on the ground and pray for their martyred souls.  Only an avatar, inspired by God, can hope to bring their spirits to life again--especially in the nihilistic abyss of the Post-Modern Horrorsy.

There are many rumors about James Richard Lucas.  

Las Vegas Lawyer Dominic Gentile says, "James R. Lucas is the best legal writer and legal researcher I have ever met." (6/16/1986)

Bapsi Sidwa says,"His imagery and expression are spectacular!" (6/2/1994)

Alleged Biography of JRL No.5 (c. 1992)

James Richard Lucas was found lying in the street outside a United States military base near Kincheloe Air Force Base in 1948.  Air National Guardsmen summoned civilian authorities who had the infant examined by a child phrenologist.  The phrenologist pronounced that the child one day "kill his parents with an ax."  Juvenile officials foisted the bantling onto a poor huntsman and his wife, Faustulus and La Rencilla, who raised the kid as their own.

In 1954 when James was six years old, he first saw television.  It was a vermillion-and-white broadcast of the great demagogue, Sen. Joe McCarthy, ranting frothily.  "Daddy!" the tyke reportedly uttered.

In 1956 the State won a lawsuit against the federal government and the Defense Departtment that forced it to pay the cost of rearing and raising the orphan youth under the doctrine of lex loci discooperire.  The court ruled the US must pay since the infant was found just barely inside federal property.  Thus, Lucas became an offspring of the Military Welfare State.

In 1970 he graduated from a massively large, major mid-western university, carried through matriculation by the massively democratic paedegogical tide of post-WWII expanded higher education.  Not knowing what to do with his life, he mistakenly went to law school, graduating in 1974.

He became a lawyer and inobtrusively practiced law, until, in 1993 he saw the Buddha who told him a great secret.  He disappeared into the desert.

Three years later, the manuscript of his great opus, Fooz Gold, was found in an underground hummock mew by a National Park Service woodwose hag, a former publicist for a large California defense contractor who knew Stephen Criag Paddock and Sheila.  She sold it to a Las Vegas pawnbroker  for thirty bucks and a bus ticket to Miami.  The pawnbroker sold the literary rights to the current agent in the spirit of capitalism with no warranty of title

In 1995 Lucas single-handedly organized his East Las Vegas neighborhood to fight and drive out a  Mexican drug gang, Las Panderillas de la Muerte.  Nevada State Senator Valerie praised Lucas and his cohorts, saying, "Your work is difficult and heroic.  You set a marvelous example for us all!" (2/13/2000).  See City Life 32 (Las Vegas Press) (2/3/2000); Las Vegas Sun 1B (1/13/19999).  Thanked by LVMPD DTAC Capt. Andrew Walsh for helping clean up East Fremont's  nest of thugs and hoodlums, May 2016.

Community Liaison for Buddhist Temple, Wat Pa Buddhaya Nandharam, Jim helped coordinate groundbreaking blessing ceremony for world's greatest magicians, Siegfried & Roy, Magicians' Lair, Las Vegas, June 12, 2002.  A writer who stand for God, home, hearth, country, liberty, and the American flag!

Alleged Biography of JRL No.2.0 (c. 4004 B.C.)  The first job JRL (Jim) ever got was to get out of the womb in Moab, where Satan aka Shaitan, to and fro walks up and down.  This was not easy.  Satan went to the Lord concerning Jim who was shut up in his mother's womb, a fetus-child in a hedge, and demanded, "Let me have him!"  The Lord answered, "Shaitan, you miserable scumbag!  You can have everything around him, only upon his person, touch not thy hand!"  So the government took Jim's father, Rocky, a Hittite ensign of King Solomon's navy who fought valiantly against the Philistine sea pirates (1945-1935 B.C.) in both the Mediterranean and Gulf of Aqaba Theaters, who helped to liberate the Bekaa Valley from the followers of Baal, a POW who was captured by the Fedralites (Feds) of Seir and held prisoner for 180 years in Moab.  The Feds gave gave Jim's Dad a Greek womain, Judith, to wed in the dungeon in Moab, not unlike Universal Studios who put Jean Simmons in the oubliette with Kirk Douglas in the 1960 movie, Spartacus.  The Feds nailed a big sign on the dungeon that said, "Rocky, you loser!  Thy son shall not see you until he reaches 140 years!"  On Halloween, the night Jim was born, Aunt Clytemnestra, Ma's sister, wrote the oracle at Moab and shrieked so hard into the shofar, "Is he a freak?" that she broke the leucotome Jim's dad was supposed to take for his PTSD madness.  "Nay!" cried the bayaderes.  The Son of the imprisoned Warrior stands safe in an aura of tabernacle lamplight!  And the Lord be praised, the poet-boy has a wit like St. John the Divine!"  But when Jim was 14yo, Dra'lib County where the family lived put Judith, Jim's ma, in a big underground mental hospital in Hezzbaloney.  The whole family was torn asunder by Satan the Diabolical!  "Your mama is crazy!" the Fedralite psychiatrists laughed, "jes' like yo' crazy mama too!"

Dra'lib authorities put Jim in an Arab foster home in Dearborn in Hir'abia.  This was before the time of the Prophet whose Name cannot be said, Karnak of The Tonight Show.  "Forget your father and mother!" the social worker said.  "You will become a worthless sand nigger if you don't memorize the whole Tonght Show, every sura, every ayat!" the foster hag Khatamita berated.  The second foster hag of Dra'lib, the bigoted White Bitch Draculibra, had Jim branded with the tramp stamp, "Niggah Horus," for the adolescent sex slave trade and sold him to a caravan of perverts.  But Jim escaped, just like Joseph in the Bible, and he ran off to Luxor, where he won First Prize in the Apis Pure Bullshit Tournament.  For many years Jim was worshiped as a god in an Egyptian geniza where he tutored Maimonides in Pure Yiddish.

Until during a full moon night in 1992, Satan came to Jim on behalf of Antifa and the Southern Egypt Madrassa and Poverty Center, and gave up.  Surrounded by the same demons who tortured Dad in Moab Psychiatric Hospital and Demon Center and Mom in Hezzbaloney, Jim got down on his knees and prayed to Jesus.  Jesus saved Jim from Satan, declaring by the sign of the True Cross, "Jim, one day you will found Cyberbard Ink, a great company!"  Immediate Jim began to write his first novel.

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Cyber Bard Ink

PO Box 24155, Las Vegas, NV 89101, US